Hi!
Remember Live Journal? I loved that website. Of course I have a physical journal I try to write in when I’m feeling my feelings..but having anyone be able to read it is more fun. This is my website and I can say whatever the fuck I want. Really though, It’s actually therapeutic to write about life. You don’t have to be Hunter S. Thompson to open your computer and jot down some thoughts. They’re your thoughts and they’re important. Usually!
Last month, the motivation to paint wasn’t all there. A week or 2 would go by and I didn’t even pick up a brush or a pencil. That’s natural though. A lot of Artists go through creative funks like I do. Life can get hard, especially during this time.. We gotta be kind to ourselves and ride this roller coaster. If you don’t feel like making anything, it’s OK. If you need a little time to yourself, it’s OK. Over the years I’ve been getting better at disciplining myself, snapping out of it and getting back in my chair. Many Artists suffer from self doubt and depression, but when you don’t feel it going away..that’s when you step back, get out into nature, hug a dog, listen to happy music, or jump in the water at the beach. That is always the cure. Then, go back to your work with new eyes and a new perspective. Maybe you will be more inspired than before!
This life we live is such a rat race, constantly comparing ourselves to others. Remember to disconnect yourself from any negative feelings when they’re overwhelming and realize you’re such a unique soul. You are here with a purpose. You’re here to spread your love and light to others. Don’t ever forget that!
Thankfully, the past week I’ve had an abundance of creativity! I’ve been working a lot at home lately organizing ideas and sketches. Finishing work I should have finished forever ago. Getting a business plan down is really important..figuring out the direction of where I’m leading my artwork and apparel. I’ve trademarked my company, so now it feels more legit! I’ve also been figuring out what I want to sell in my online shop. I love my vibe and trust my vision, so gotta stay on this path and keep it up because I’m feeling pretty proud of myself. I finally see my real potential and it’s exciting.
Not many people can handle the constant grind of living as an Artist, yet I’ve been living this way for over 10 years now. I hold myself accountable for creating opportunities. I work for myself and make my own schedule. I’m my own boss, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the World. Some friends and strangers tell me that I inspire them, which makes all the craziness worth it. That’s honestly all I want.. to inspire people. I’m at an age now where I really don’t have time for any bullshit. I want to do what I want to do, create, and have fun. Kate Moss vibes.
I was once told by an L.A. art dealer, “Just produce. Keep producing.” Let it go, let it out. Give your creativity to the universe without overthinking so much. I overthink to the point of making me cringe. I don’t know where it comes from. So many times I will overthink, overpaint and completely ruin the work. I’m trying to remember to be aware and stop this bad habit. All our job is as an Artist is to just figure it out. Once it looks right, be done! Keep it moving. Jimmy Kimmel once said Your 75% is better than most people’s 100%. I loved that.
I found an amazing studio underneath my apartment. It’s a commercial space right on Melrose, with pretty good foot traffic and a great location. It’s a place I can get messy and work the way I really want to work. I could sell my art exclusively through my store, and host figure drawing sessions. I could rent it out for a good hourly price to other artists or throw events. I’m patiently waiting to snag it, and I’ve been keeping up with the landlord so I’m hoping I will have updates soon! There’s nothing else I want more than my own commercial space. I love the studio I have now..I’m so incredibly appreciative to the Universe for giving it to me. Many times in my life I didn’t have a place to call my own so I’m feeling blessed. I’m just ready to push myself to the next level.
The past couple months I’ve also been dabbling in other mediums. Photography, music (guitar/singing), writing, and modeling for friends have been my favorites as of late. Letting myself experiment different ways to release creative energy. I recommend trying new things, but just remember to have fun with it. Don’t be hard on yourself. Don’t let anyone tell you to “stay in your lane” either. Do whatever you want, Try whatever you want, at whatever age you feel like it. You’re forever learning and growing. Life is short, Live it up. Just Do what you love with passion, and enjoy the process!
This post is dedicated to Nana Rona. I love you. Rest Easy Sweet Girl
XO PAU
